A is for Audio

20 Feb

The other day, I was talking to a friend of mine about hir RPD and gods, and life in general. After awhile, things turned around, and suddenly, we were talking about me and my relationship with the Netjeru.

And frankly, I don’t really talk about those mechanics a lot. Because, even for us religious folks, it’s weird (all you non-theists probably already think we’re all crazy and that’s OKAY because um, we kind of are =D ). Most of the Kemetics I talk to “see” their gods – usually in dreams or meditation. The friend I was talking to is a synesthete*, so hir visuals associated with the gods tend to be through colors. All of this is really cool and I wish it described my encounters with the Netjeru – but it doesn’t. I hear Them.

I’m not saying I have voices in my head telling me what to do and to change the world with Their message or whatever. Yes, I’ve seen psychiatrists, but I’ve never talked to them about this, because this is religious. Because I simply can’t visualize Them, They talk to me, and I to Them. And frankly, it’s a good thing that no one is coming to me expecting me to be an Oracle or a Religious Leader because very rarely do the gods let me recall the words they used. The message is what is important, and They remind me that this is a gift not to be used for understanding the universe, not for attention.

What amused me is that when I opened up to Emky, we both expressed jealousy at the other’s way of connecting to Netjer. Sure, we’d all love to hear the gods, but when Ra chastises you… it’s not fun to hear it in words. I’d rather it had been in feelings. And as much as I’d be enthralled by being a synesthete, social stigmas might keep me to hide that too.

This is me coming out about that part of my religious life. And if you all are as wonderfully accepting as you usually are, I won’t be surprised at all.

 

*Nerdfighterian readers who recognize this term and forgot what it means, allow me to remind you of Tom Milsom’s “Porphyrophobia” and “Indigo.”

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