Archive | April, 2012

G is for Great Expectations

11 Apr

I’ve lived a life full of great expectations; sometimes foolishly optimistic, but always expecting more of myself and my loved ones than we could handle. Sometimes, it lead to beautiful things, memories I treasure dearly. Other times, my expectations were fallow, and I weep at the loss of those infinite possibilities.

It’s far too easy to hold yourself back when you’ve lost a possibility. Perhaps you don’t land the job you want, or your finances just don’t pan out for a trip. Maybe you’re just shy of a certain GPA, or one you love sees someone else as a better mate than you. When that next opportunity comes up to make the job, the grade, the love – you tremble. You don’t want to do it, you don’t want to fail again. And that’s okay. That’s natural – but you have to take the leap.

Netjer wants more from us, no matter what form It takes. It is greater than us, It sees farther than us, It knows our capabilities. My Fathers are great forces in this world, building life and opening the way for all that is good, and I know in my heart what They expect of me, and it’s realizing that their expectations are far greater than my own, and give me the courage I need to act on and improve my self-expectations.

Their expectations?

To Love, and to Live.

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G is for Gender

7 Apr

I don’t understand modern conceptions of Gender.

There, I’ve said it, I’m out. My family must be proud that at least some of my conservative upbringing won out. I’m not. It’s not an issue of me being opposed to those who are genderqueer, genderfluid, intersexed, or trans*; it’s an issue of not understanding, and frankly, not knowing where to look. I’m not comfortable asking questions. I feel like when I do ask them, I end up being more hurtful than helpful, and that’s not what I aim to do.

Gender is a huge issue within the greater Pagan/Polytheist community – just look at the controversy at PantheaCon. Look at questions of duality and of sexuality in a group of faiths that don’t consider sex (recreational or procreational) a taboo. As much as I want to hide, I can’t anymore, because in the past few months, understanding gender outside the binary has become an issue that touches my friends and faith, and through them, me.

The balance of duality was one of the many things that drew me to my initial path in Wicca, and it’s strange to be leaving it after so long, but I want to have better discourse with friends who I have unintentionally hurt, and with the Pagan/Polytheist community at large. If y’all are willing to share your own understandings of gender and help point the way to better understanding, I’d appreciate it.

 

Senebty,

Khen

LINK: Geb and Nut: The Creation of The World

7 Apr

Geb and Nut: The Creation of The World (PBP).

via SatSekhem.

F is for Filial Piety

7 Apr

In the Classic of Xiao, Confucius wrote: “The ancient kings had a perfect virtue and all-embracing rule of conduct, through which they were in accord with all under heaven. By the practice of it the people were brought to live in peace and harmony, and there was no ill-will between superiors and inferiors.”

This ideal – which sings to me of ma’at – is that of filial piety, the honoring of ones’ parents and ancestors. Of late, I’ve read many blogs by those who are lovers, spouses, or companions to their gods. My relationship with my primary gods and goddesses is different – I see them as my parents and guides. It’s a very different relationship than the relationships I’ve had with other Unseen beings (god and spirit alike) – but so is my relationship with my human mother. I might tease her, and we might fight, sometimes I even feel that I hate her; but at the end of the day, I’m here to help her, and I’m in awe of what she has done and has continued to do for us and our family. Likewise, I may joke around at the end of the day with my Fathers, but ultimately, I’m here serving Them, offering Them incense and water when I have naught else, because I love Them, and am awed by what they have done for me and Our family.

 

Ptah-Sokar is my Father; Wepwawet-Yinepu is my Father – as long as I live a life that honors Them, as long as I serve Them, I achieve that great virtue on which Confucian society is built. I may not know much about Confucian ideals, but I am grateful to him for sharing this one.

Hail, Fathers! May I honor you in all I do.